Remember when you were a teenager and you thought that vandalism was hilarious?
Toilet paper was standard in your arsenal as well as eggs, real estate signs, and bats (used to hit mailboxes.) The super hilarious teen got creative and used things like oreos stuck on windshields, feminine pads stuck on front doors, and tampons hanging as ornaments from trees. I've even done, ahem, I mean there has also been reports of plastic spoons stuck in the front lawn. But, creativity in vandalism is rare; saved only for occasional, special acts of service and love. And lest this post creates copycats, I will stop now.
So, every year, we have the same problem. Some teen remembers hearing about how fun it is to drive across corner yards in neighborhoods. Because we live on a corner, it happens every year. And once it is discovered as cheap entertainment, it can happen up to three or four times. (See Exhibit A above.)
I can dish it out, but I can't take it. I can't help it! Today, I am the one replacing sprinkler heads and cleaning up the toilet paper. Laughing is not my first reaction when I look at tire ruts across the front lawn again.
Call me middle-aged. Call me a soccer mom with no sense of humor. Call me Ishmael, oh wait, this isn't Moby Dick. Today, my sense of humor is gone for all things mischievous and destructive.
And please, if you're reading this and you drove over my front lawn, stop doing it!
Go ahead and use the spoons. At least then, it would save on my spring aerating bill.
This year, I will be smart and environmentally-friendly as I retaliate. Instead of planting wood strips with nails, I will plant a tree, maybe even two.
Cause I'm all about going green and saving the earth.
Or at least saving my lawn.
And my dignity.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Plant a Tree
Posted by Shauna at 8:27 AM
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5 comments:
The wood strips would be pretty funny though-- :)
I'm sorry about the vandals!
I would be sooooo mad too! That has got to get so old, year after year.
I remember we got so tired of being toilet-papered when my mom was seminary teacher. The first time was kinda fun - "We are so well-liked that we were t.p.'d", we'd thought. But we always knew it was "Nels-ey Baby" and "Curt-ey Baby", aka Nels Thorderson and Curtis Hagen. They got to be so annoying (especially when they called each other those ridiculous names).
My mom got really good at cleaning it up - lighting each piece with a lighter. At least you can stop the insanity by planting a few trees - she just kept hoping that Perry Drug would stop having those sales on toilet paper!
I'm w/ Mo on the wood strips. Except there would probably be some way for them to sue you !
My favorite retaliation story was when Matt Freeman and Bracken Spencer wiped ketchup all over the Moss's brass doorknobs and it ate off the finish. Bill galloped over the hill, grbbed those two by the scuff of the neck, and set them down with Brasso which never worked of course, because the finish was GONE, but the indignity was worth something, I guess.
Yes...plant a tree! You do live in Denver after all. Isn't that home base for the Arbor Day Foundation? Anyway, you should get a Japanese Maple. They're smaller and have beautiful red leaves in the Fall.
remember when you told your story about repentance after eating all those mints at the place you work at??? Maybe I should plant a tree to "repent" for all those times I put honey and oats on cars and...... Ha, ha. As an adult it makes me cringe!
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