Sometimes ya just gotta . . .

give in to your lazy inclinations to watch a lot of T.V. and get it out of your system.

Or so has been my mantra this morning. mantra? or just actions.. either way, I did it. I finally got a phone call to knock me out of my glazed stupor - thank you Jocelyn. An hour more and I could've gotten to the point where you don't even answer the phone. You start to grunt and eat every meal on the couch.

I don't know what it's been this morning, but I can't say I feel better. In fact, I wrestled with guilt the entire time. Guilt because I should've vegged out yesterday with Maddi who was home not feeling well. Guilt because I should at least have my teeth brushed by 10:00 a.m.

I'm back. I realized I still hadn't brushed.

Okay, so I enough of the guilt list. Yuck. Who wants to read that? Instead, let me share with the rest of you productive, working friends how things are going on morning telelvision.

First off, let me just say, I miss Katie Couric on the Today show. She is not a serious news anchor and I can't watch her on the CBS Evening News. She just doesn't fit. I really don't watch the Today show anymore, but when I turned on the T.V. at 8:55, there was a segment on super lice that sucked me in and I thanked my lucky stars that somehow I have skated through life without a single case of lice on my head or the heads of my children. I have had my fair share of nasty bugs, fleas, in particular, but no scabies or head lice to this point. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed because after this morning, I can tell it is not something I want to deal with - EVER!!!

9:00 a.m. : Live with Regis and Kelly. I used to watch that show all the time when it Regis and Kathy Lee. Kelly Ripa? Not so much. Anyway, Meg Ryan was going to be on the show. She was putting in a plug for her new movie, "The Women." I never see Meg Ryan on daytime television and I wanted to see her in an interview and really get a good look at that new mouth of hers. I did. Let me just say, Wow.

I just don't understand plastic surgery. Okay, I understand Ashley Simpson's and her new nose is beautiful, but what is going on? Somebody explain to me why Meg Ryan did this to her mouth. I think she did a Nicole Kidman thing and got not only her lips plumped but added some bigger front teeth too. Have you ever noticed Nicole's new front teeth? They are bigger teeth than the ones she had in her first film, "Dead Calm" and "Days of Thunder." Same with Meg. Bigger teeth and unusually big lips.

I won't go on at this particular moment anymore about Hollywood and plastic surgery, I think we all know how completely ridiculous it all is, and this post is simply about morning television, not deep issues of self-esteem in the crazy sub-culture we call Hollywood.

So, after my examination of Meg Ryan, I flipped back and forth between LIVE and Rachel Ray's daytime show. I had never really watched Rachel anywhere besides the Food Network. Where is there not a place where I don't see Rachel Ray? She is at the grocery store, trying to sell me her EVOO brand of olive oil. She is at any department store trying to sell me her cookware and knives. She is Brand Marketing 101. Pans, knives, EVOO, Daytime shows, five episodes at any given time on Food Network. Just the idea of her on my lazy morning was making me tired. Her voice was hoarser today than usual and I thought to myself, she would certainly never be a person I could hang out with on a morning like today. She would make me feel way too guilty. Enough said.

10:00: Okay, now I am going into the zone. The zone of self-disgust and loathing. I know I should just get up, answer the call of my bladder and turn off the dang television. The inner voice inside my head tells me things like I deserve this, and it's important to stop and what? Not smell the roses, all I can smell is my un-showered self. I am just about to turn off the television. It's almost a moment of victory over self when I see that Bonnie Hunt has a new show. And I am always rooting for Bonnie Hunt.

This time she is trying to make a stab at being a talk show host. She is one of my favorites, so I decide to watch only a half hour. Ya know, in full support of my good friend Bonnie, not my procrastination. Well, a half hour was all I could comfortably watch of The Bonnie Hunt Show. And believe me, secretly, I was really in for the whole hour. Poor Bonnie. Rosie, Ellen, Oprah - they all make hosting look so easy and so we, the average viewer, thinks it is easy, but today I saw that it is not easy.

I probably won't set her new show on my DVR. I will secretly watch to find out if she can pull it together and then when another morning like today hits me, I'll be back.

Right now, I have to post and take a shower. I am way behind on my day and I have Meg Ryan and her big lips to blame for it.