Boltin' back to the barn

When Daren and I were dating at BYU, we went horseback riding. The idea was born after discussions he and I had talking about things we did as kids growing up. I looked for ice-cream trucks on hot summer days in the burbs and he had a pony.

I was in awe of his countrified youth. I loved the idea of horses. I told him of the one ride I took in the seventh grade at camp. It was a typical trail ride, but I loved it. He told me about riding his pony as a kid and his recent rides in the Australian outback with no trail, just miles of open plain.

Out of this conversation, a date was born. With Daren's strapping equestrian experience and my desire to fulfill childhood dreams, off we went to a barn in Provo that offered trail rides.

It was another typical trail ride, but because the trail was in the foothills of Provo, the views were inspiring and worth the money spent. It was hot, it was dusty, but it was also glorious if you asked me. If you asked Daren, it could not have been more boring.

I was completely enjoying the day, relaxed and carefree, ignoring the dry, scratchy throat that had developed from the dusty trail. The trail ended and soon we were trotting back on the road that lead back to the barn. Here comes Daren's favorite part of the story. When my horse saw the barn, he instinctively BOLTED for the barn. I guess if you rode horses, you would know this is normal and the last thrill of a trail ride, but I was an ice-cream truck buyin' suburban girl. I was hardly prepared.

This story is not one of my most embarrassing moments - I stayed on the horse and once I caught my balance, I rode back to the barn like a pro. It was exhilarating, especially listening to Daren whoopin' and hollerin' all the way back.

As of today, I have two and a half weeks left of school and I feel just like my horse.

I see the barn. I can hardly wait to bolt.

What is instinctive about bolting back to the barn? Is it to get the ride over with? To eat hay and carrots? The thrill of the finish?

For me, I know once I finish this semester, I will be sad. As hard as it's been, it has also been that rewarding. I am really learning french and it makes me happy. Same with school, as hard as it has been to do school with a family and other responsibilities, I love it. I feel so grateful to be able to do this.

I leave the day after my final exam for seven days to go visit my family. This is the carrot in front of my nose taking me all the way to the end.

I'm not sure how I feel. I feel both emotions. I want to be done, but I am happy. Next time I go on a trail ride, I'll have to ask the horse what he thinks.